Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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