All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
