we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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