ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
