Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
