the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
