Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
