The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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