Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
