Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
