I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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