If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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