i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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