If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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