Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
