i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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