woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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