Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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