oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
