True but thats because hes a fetus.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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