3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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