ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
