I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
