You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we have officially lost it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize