There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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