He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
