wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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