is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
