she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My boob is missing a layer of skin
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
