Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
