So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
