break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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