i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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