I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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