yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
