Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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