From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize