I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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