You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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