I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
