I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
