I'm going to jail i love you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Less talking, more tequila
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
