I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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