Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
