I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
