if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
