tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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