is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How many fucks given?
0.12846
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
