I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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