Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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