If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize