Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
