so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
