My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think I sprained my soul last night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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