I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
