party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
